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And, here are more from some younger little darlings:

TEACHER: Why are you late?
STUDENT: Class started before I got here.

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America ..
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.....

TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

The following questions were set in last year's GED examination
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds) ....... And they WILL breed.


Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby

Q.... Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

A great Friday joke Keep 'em coming.

Excellent - good call

...and "Waste of time" - I can see a theme going on here!

The government is considering putting the clocks forward an hour, for a three year trial period. This would mean darker mornings.

BBC News - UK clocks change trial being considered

What do you think? A good idea, or a waste of time?

I certainly grew up with the smell of vinyl. My Dad had enough to open his own record shop. My parents went to lots of parties, and it always seemed to be an unwritten rule that my Dad would take his record collection and be the DJ.

When I was a nipper, my Dad got me to write the artist and song title on each of the singles' paper covers. After each party, it was my job to replace each single into it's cover. I also had to categorise into sections (e.g. Rock 'n' Roll; "Bad Salads", etc). It's no wonder that music is still a massive part of my life. It's also no wonder that, when I first started to work for my Dad, he got me to do all the filing - that's obviously what he'd been preparing me for.

Anyway, in answer to your question, I believe the first one I actually bought with my own money was "Brontosaurus" by The Move.

On a lighter note, we've all seen some clever word play for hairdresser names, but I thought this was a very memorable name for a mobile kebab shop in Bristol - wait for it:

Jason's Doner Van

When my father first set up his direct mail business in Holborn back in 1952, I think he chose exactly the right name. The name, Holborn Direct Mail, let everyone know exactly what we do and exactly where we were.

He moved the business to SE1 in the early 70's, but kept the name.

Excellent

Logging off now. Have a great time, all.

Catch up in 2012.