Groany Jokes

I went to my allotment last week and found someone had covered it with
2 inches of soil. I went again yesterday only to find it covered
again with another 2 inches of soil. The plot thickens!!!

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get
reincarnated but must come back as a different creature.
She said: "I would like to come back as a cow".
I said: "You're obviously not listening".

Doctors have just identified a food that can cause grief and suffering
years after it's been eaten. It's called wedding cake.

I was in the pub with my wife last night and I said: "I love you".
She said; "Is that you or the beer talking?"
I replied: "It's me talking to the beer".

The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst.
So I've been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.

They've opened a new shop across the road selling camouflage clothing
but I have my suspicions something weird is going on. Yesterday I saw
20 people go in but I never saw anyone coming out.

I just brought a friend of mine a new fridge, should have seen his
face light up when he opened it

A friend of mine moved into a new house at the weekend so I took him
over a couple of radiators. Just a little house warming present.

I've just heard the window cleaner shouting and swearing outside my
house. I think he's lost his rag.