I've just come out of the 'chippy' with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days'. I told him 'I wish I had your will power'
Paddy is walking down the road eating a bag of doughnuts, Murphy meets him and says 'if I can guess how many doughnuts you have in the bag, can I have one?
Haha! I got them both instantly  I have one, it's a little dirty though.. I'll take the risk (Goodbye all if I get the banhammer)  How do you know when a Blonde is having a really bad day? .. She has a tampon tucked behind her ear and can't seem to find her pencil. I4Visual
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