Punishment, Japanese Style

In my case did .. She used to get a smack lol and didn't care where I was even smacked her in M&S once was classic lol .. My grandchild who's not 1 yet will get smacks... I just have to look at my wife's cousins kids who aren't allowed to get smacked , they ruin everything and just plain don't listen 1 example was he was told not to put his hands in the chip bowl as they were full of snot , Dad looks away and bam in it goes Dad says no for the 5th time , great who the hell want them now, sorry but discipline is a requirement ,you just need to look out your window these days  

Hmmm I will be the fluffy liberal here that gets shot down. The Japanese story for a start was a disgrace and is child abuse. They were very, very lucky it didn't go very wrong!

I was smacked and it ruined my relationship with my parents for years. If your only way of using discipline is violence I think you need to step up your parenting techniques... Violence is wrong and using it is advocating it. Especially as it is usually used in anger or frustration. Children can push our buttons but we must teach them how to behave correctly.

I am teaching my child empathy, kindness, honesty and politeness and by setting this as an example to her too I hope she will grow up into a gentle and kind human being. 

No discipline or guidance is as bad as too much of course. When I worked in schools I could tell the ones who had no boundaries at all at home. Too many people have children then hand them over to childcare or expect the school to do everything for them. Children need to be nurtured, cared for, shown how to act and given the tools to discover and explore the world around them themselves. Time is one of the most important gifts you can give a child in my opinion.

The aim is a relationship built on trust and respect and I think hitting totally undermines this!! I may only have a toddler and baby on the way but I do also have step daughters of nearly 11 and 13, who I have known since 5 and 7 so I am not talking with no experience at all.

Parenting is the hardest of life's challenges I think and most of us do our best and act with the right intentions. I am just giving my opinion, not judging what anyone chooses to do. 

It is difficult to decide, I've been thinking about saying I would smack my grandchild. But I think in reality I probably will never do it .. He is such an angel, a moaner but is getting full of life now and just learning to say simple words like mama, bye-bye etc .. I was thinking more along the lines of other kids. I did ask my daughter if was was and I think shewill be like you and use the naughty step or take something away   

Originally Posted by Andy-C27

“It is difficult to decide, I've been thinking about saying I would smack my grandchild. But I think in reality I probably will never do it .. He is such an angel, a moaner but is getting full of life now and just learning to say simple words like mama, bye-bye etc .. I was thinking more along the lines of other kids. I did ask my daughter if was was and I think shewill be like you and use the naughty step or take something away   ”

I don't really agree with the naughty step either....hahaha

I'm all for adults smacking children when the children do wrong...... As long as those same adults are willing to accept a good smacking themselves when they do wrong......  I struggle to see how it is acceptable to smack say a 10 year for stealing, yet smack a 20year for the same offense and then your guilty of assault..... 

Just catching up after my hols and spotted a beat your child thread 

I thought it would be a good way to wind up Rebecca, but actually agree with her. Have smacked my eldest on the backside twice. First time she was hysterical and it got the reaction I wanted and she snapped out of it. Second time she just laughed at me, and have never smacked her (or her sister) since.

Certainly a steep learning curve and kids really do know how to press your buttons, but the harsh reality of smacking them is you have lost control. Kids need firm discipline and I get frustrated at namby pamby parents who are clueless at setting boundaries or putting in the foundation stones of wrong or right. But discipline comes in lots of shapes and forms, and doesn't need to physical.

Have no probs with the naughty step, which was only used a few times, but now they are older, then they are sent to their room if its serious. 5 mins in there having a think about what you've done, then a stern faced father trying to keep a straight face does the trick and defuses whatever crisis was going on. TV/computer ban for x days also works really well, as does the threat that I'll talk to their teacher, although doubt that will last much longer.

I used to be a shouter as well, which is also counter productive and for me is still the hardest thing in the world to keep under control. Especially when being manipulated by a cunning 6 year old going on 16 having the mother of all paddy whacks

That said, I'd be lying if there weren't times I'd day dreamed of dropping them off in the middle of nowhere when they are in the midst of winding each other up and threatening to tear lumps out of each other